How do I learn to speak in tongues?

I have already mastered rolling around on the floor chanting and making up words but God never responds. I am obviously not doing it right and need to learn to speak proper tongue. I cannot find a tongue grammar primer and dictionary? I tried Amazon but had no joy.

I happen be Welsh and have a Welsh dictionary. Can I use that?

I speak six languages myself (Irish Gaelic, Welsh, Scottish Gaelic, Romanian, English and Greek)

And I often have a problem with inserting foreign grammer into my words, endiing up in what my friends call "Yoda speak" or when i get frustrated, either cursing in another tongue or translating it into English while cursing.

Does anyone else have this problem?